Beverly Hills Wedding Photographer Jen OSullivan » Studio Practice

NOT Keeping up with the Joneses (Balancing career, family, life, and sanity)

Jen — Mon, 26 Apr 2010 19:00:07 +0000

My muse, JT. His smile is infectious!

You may be at a point in your career where you are juggling too much, or you can’t seem to keep things together, or you are just getting burned out. I will have to warn you, you will not like some of the things I have to say. If you can be honest with yourself, please be willing to try some of the things I will tell you. I understand that everyone is busy, busy, busy. I respect others workflow because everyone is different. HOWEVER, I always laugh a little to myself when people complain about how busy they are because of my own business. Just to give you some insight into my world: I own 4 successful businesses (Jen O’Sulivan Photo, Wedding And Event Specialists, Little Book Bindery, ASAP Mentoring). You know what my photo business is, however I also teach bookbinding to over 180 students a year at Art Center College of Design in Pasadena. Wedding And Event Specialists is a person to person network organization in Beverly Hills and ASAP Mentoring is a year round photography school where I mentor 12 full time students, do weekly lectures, and host shootouts and workshops once a month. I teach a High School class at Flintridge Preparatory in La Canada and a College class at College of the Canyons in Valencia. I am a mom of a 2 year old and wife. I am pretty traditional when it comes to my family. I take care of most of the household duties (meals, shopping, keeping things clean) and kid duties. I have child care for 10 hours a week but otherwise I am the full time child care provider. So, yes, I laugh just a little when someone complains to me about being too busy.
The number one question I get asked ALL THE TIME is, “How do you do it all?” Here is the short answer: I love EVERYTHING I do.
Here is the long answer:

It comes down to 10 important areas that I try to keep up. I don’t keep up with what everyone else is doing. I do what is right for me; what keeps me going and is not toxic to my life. These areas are my health, spirituality, spouse, children, home, extended family, clients, colleagues, friends, and community.

(This post will be broken up into 12 posts.)

Click HERE to read how I tackle the HEALTH issue.

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Copyright © 2010 by Jen O’Sullivan http://www.jenosullivan.com
Beverly Hills Wedding Photographer, Jen O’Sullivan is a boutique wedding photographer who specializes in portrait journalism.
Jen O’Sullivan Boutique Wedding Photography | 357 South Robertson Boulevard, Beverly Hills, California, 90211 | 310-494-6547

NOT Keeping Up with the Joneses (HEALTH)

Jen — Mon, 26 Apr 2010 18:59:39 +0000

One of my dinners at a wedding. Vegans are so difficult!

Part 2 of the 12 part series on balancing your life.

Out of the 10 main areas of concern when it comes to balancing your life, I listed HEALTH first because when you are down and out so is everything else in your life. Literally. Think about your home. If one person gets sick, they tend to bring the whole household down with them. And when that happens there will be a major loss in workflow and productivity. Here is what you need to do. GET HEALTHY. The number one reason most of you are not healthy has nothing to do with your ability to run up a flight of stairs or do 100 sit ups. It has everything to do with the crap you are fueling your body with. Here is where you may start to hate me just a bit.

You cannot drink coffee. Not one single cup. Caffeine saps your energy. Even drinking decaf. Tea is bad too. The only thing is herbal tea. That is it. No soda. No sports drinks. Definitely no energy drinks. All these things put chemicals, sugar, and yuck into your system. Your body then expends energy trying to figure out what to do with it. It saps your energy AND your immune system. Water. That’s it. Juice is fine too if you are a juicer straight from the fruit or vegetable. Anything else is worthless. Why? It is called pasteurization. Most drinkable liquids from natural substances like juice and milk need to be processes so as to reduce the number or pathogenic micro-organisms. This process will also most of the vital nutrients your body needs leaving whatever you are drinking somewhat useless. How the companies get around this is they will fortify the drink with vitamins and minerals that were lost in the pasteurization process bringing it all back to where it was when the process began. But is it really back? Not quite. Nutrients work together synergistically and mother nature got it right the first time.

The only way to ensure you are getting the right nutrients is a diet high in raw fruits and veggies. So, seriously, who has time for that. I try all the time to eat well when I can. You may know that I was vegan for the last year and am now vegetarian meaning I eat cheese and ice cream sometimes. Mostly my goal throughout the week is to eat as raw as I can. Nuts, dried fruit, whole fruit, lots of salad with just veggies (no cheese or creamy dressing). This may sound hard, but I will tell you I used to eat steak 3 times a week and a glass of milk every night. I was also a size 12 and tired all the time. I am not saying vegetarianism is for everyone however I am saying you should consider lowering your intake of animal proteins to 5% of your total food intake.

Let’s say this is not an option for you. My husband would laugh me out of the house if I tried to enforce this (although I have gotten him to regularly eat meatless meatballs.) WARNING: I am going to sell you something. Juice Plus+ It is what my entire family is on. You take it instead of your vitamins because it is a food vitamin rather than an isolated man made vitamin. I can tell you with certainty that this one product alone is why I am as healthy as I am. It is why my son of 27 months has only gotten one cold his entire life even with weekly trips to one of the most viral places on earth, Disneyland. If you want to check into it, go to http://www.jenlovesjuiceplus.com I am not trying to make any money off you rather I want you to be informed about something I swear by. I will never not take Juice Plus+ because my business and family depend on me.

Take your health seriously. Become an advocate for your body. You only have one.

Click HERE to learn how I tackle the SPIRITUALITY issue.

Click HERE to go back to the beginning of this topic.

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NOT Keeping Up with the Joneses (SPIRITUALITY)

Jen — Mon, 26 Apr 2010 18:58:00 +0000

Part 3 of the 12 part series on balancing your life.

Your spirituality is something between you and yourself, you and your God. I cannot tell you where you should or should not be spiritually because we are each on a different path. I can only tell you how I live. I am a Christian. I don’t judge others. I choose to love everyone where they are. I have a pretty active prayer life. I read my bible. I spend time with God. The time I spend helps me to stop, slow down, reconnect, and reassess where I am in life. If you are not a spiritual person I would like to recommend you start going on thankwalks. Take a fifteen minute walk around your neighborhood and with each step in rhythm only say what you are thankful for or are blessed with in your life. No ifs ands or buts. Just pure gratitude. If you can do this in the morning your whole day will be better for it.

Click HERE to read how I tackle the SPOUSE issue.

Click HERE to go back to the beginning of this topic.

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NOT Keeping Up with the Joneses (SPOUSE)

Jen — Mon, 26 Apr 2010 18:57:32 +0000

The love of my life and High School Sweetheart, Tim.

Part 4 of the 12 part series on balancing your life.

Part of keeping a balanced life is to remember your spouse is your partner. He or she is not your slave, not your dumping ground, not your back-up plan. You need to be as much a support to them as they are to you. Talk with them. Ask your spouse how you can support them and tell them how they can support you. It might surprise you. I know that the best way to keep my relationship happy with my husband is simply to keep our house clean. That’s it. Really, in a nut shell, men are quite simple when it comes to their needs. There are pretty much two things he needs and he is good. You can guess the second one. We also try to go to lunch together without Jacob. I think too often parents use their kids as buffers until one day they wake up and don’t really know each other anymore. As a wife, I take my role very seriously and you should too. Having relationship problems with your spouse is a sure fire way to get depressed and become highly unproductive.

Click HERE to read how I tackle the CHILDREN issue.

Click HERE to go back to the beginning of this topic.

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NOT Keeping Up with the Joneses (CHILDREN)

Jen — Mon, 26 Apr 2010 18:56:54 +0000

My little man, JT playing at our park.

Part 5 of the 12 part series on balancing your life.

My biggest fear is becoming THAT parent. The one who is always working to better their spouses and kids lives only never to experience it with them because they are always working. The one who is constantly on their smart phone in the car, at the restaurant, texting, and emailing away. The one who is always on the computer who says “just one more minute” and then takes 30. Okay, so I have to admit, it happens from time to time. I am well aware of it and my goal is to always jump off the computer when my kid wants attention. This is hard if you have a home office.

Here is some advice. Have scheduled time with your kids that is just theirs. Don’t tell them this or it will become trite to them. You need to physically schedule them in and then do nothing. Leave your phone at home or in your car. Just hang out with them. I take Jacob to the park, the zoo, Disneyland. When I do work, I try to make sure he is busy with a project and when he gets bored I play with him. The other thing I have done is to have a mother’s helper. Part of the 10 hours a week that I have a babysitter/nanny I am also home. That way it is like a play date for Jacob with the nanny. He knows I am upstairs getting work done but I often come downstairs for a few minutes to kiss on him. I want to be a mom who is present. I am protective over this time. Tim and I take Jacob on outings all the time. We have “family day” 3 days a week where we do something fun together. If you do not set time aside for this you will be truly sad when your child is all grown up and you cannot remember his or her milestones because you were simply not there.

Click HERE to read how I tackle the HOME issue.

Click HERE to go back to the beginning of this topic.

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NOT Keeping Up with the Joneses (HOME)

Jen — Mon, 26 Apr 2010 18:55:16 +0000

Part 6 of the 12 part series on balancing your life.

When your living space is a mess you can be certain your life may be a mess too. I am the first to admit that I can be a pretty big slob. My office gets so piled up with papers and work and other photo stuff that it can be a little overwhelming to someone on the outside. I have very organized client files and computer files however I do have an issue with everything around it all. It is always feast or famine, one or the other. My husband thinks I have bi-polar disorder with my office. Sometimes it is out of control clean and some times it is just out of control. He always laughs when he comes home from work to see it spick and span. The first words out of his mouth are always, “We’ll see what it looks like tomorrow.” Sadly he is usually right. So, I do need to work on this one. Our joint living spaces on the other hand need to stay clean. When the kitchen or living room or bedrooms are not clean, you better believe I can feel a strain in my life. This is by far the hardest thing for me, but I try and you should too. We all know how good it feels to have a wonderfully clean place to live and work in.

Click HERE to read how I tackle the EXTENDED FAMILY issue.

Click HERE to go back to the beginning of this topic.

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NOT Keeping Up with the Joneses (EXTENDED FAMILY)

Jen — Mon, 26 Apr 2010 18:54:16 +0000

My best friend and sister for life, Cindi with her two sons.

Part 7 of the 12 part series on balancing your life.

When you are single your family are your mom, dad, and siblings. When you are married your family is your husband (and kids if you have any) and everyone else is extended family. The hard thing about any family not living with you is that they become their own issue to keep up with in your life; and a very important one, too. I list this group right after your home. Spouse is first, then your kids, then your home, then your extended family. Sadly many people get the first two out of order. They would say their kids come first, then their spouses, their home, and then extended family. The reason this is bad: kids will grow up to not understand what a healthy relationship because you are catering to them first. They need to see that they cannot infiltrate the solidity of you and your spouse. This will build a very strong relational foundation for them.

So, onto your extended family. While important, they can, and sometimes will impose on your life too much. They need to know your boundaries and everyone needs to respect them. Okay, who am I kidding. Extended family can get kind of messy. We all have our issues, however the best way to tackle them is to let people know how you are feeling. It is not important how they interpret what you say, but that you are okay with your relationship with them. As a business owner you will need to let them know how they can support you.

Also, be very careful what you do and don’t do for your family. What I mean by this: they will expect you to do everything you do for your clients at top dollar for them for free and without thanks. My advice: 1. do everything for free without thanks and move on. 2. Do nothing at all and move on. I have a policy with my family. If the event is important enough where they want photography, they need to ask me, otherwise I may or may not show up with a camera. While I love shooting anything and everything I do sometimes like to just hang out. Could you imagine if your brother who is a doctor had to do mini check ups with every family member at Thanksgiving? It would never happen. Your family can easily expect too much without saying a word. On the flip side they may not want their photo taken at every gathering. Where you think of it as a huge benefit, they think of it as “Here we go again with the family photos. Do I have to?” Pick your battles wisely with your family. Be generous but don’t expect any pats on the back. You are stuck with them for life.

Click HERE to read how I tackle the CAREER issue.

Click HERE to go back to the beginning of this topic.

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NOT Keeping Up with the Joneses (CAREER)

Jen — Mon, 26 Apr 2010 18:53:14 +0000

Me in my studio. Photo by Yoshihiro Makino for STORY Magazine.

Part 8 of the 12 part series on balancing your life.

Entrepreneurs are notorious work-a-holics. We seem to work a 24 hour day leaving our loved ones in our trail of dust. It is not surprising that entrepreneurs can get burnt out quickly. If you are one, the interesting thing is that usually you are not into just one thing. The way your brain is hardwired is different from others. You intuitively think how to do things better, how to sell things better, how to profit better. And because of this, you are constantly seeing any number of areas you can do well in. It is common to find yourself bouncing around from one idea to the next. Many entrepreneurs have what is considered an AD/HD brain. Not the medication needing kind, but truly the kind of brain that needs stimulus. I have a really hard time going to the movies. Why? There are countless other things I could be doing. If I watch a movie at home, I can multi task. This drives my family insane. They absolutely hate it. “Can’t you just relax for one second?” Actually, no. It is just who I am. I enjoy it. Okay, so, what type of person are you? You may not find yourself to this extreme, however if you own your own business, you will have this issue of having a 24/7 job. You cannot clock in and clock out so to speak. Why? Sure, you can stop working, but in reality your mind is (and should be) always thinking of your business. To do lists. Marketing strategies. Employee retention. Profit and Loss. Office supplies that need purchasing. The list goes on.
Here are the main issues you may be having:

1. How do you separate family time from work time?
2. How can you LOVE what you do for a living every day?
3. How do you stay on top of everything and not get burnout?

It comes down to scheduling, trimming, and saying “No.”

Scheduling (DMO, WMO, and MMO)
Your DMO or Daily Method of Operation should be simple and flexible. Answer your emails not every time they come in, but three times a day. Morning, afternoon, and evening. Make phone calls all at one time of day. If you are in the car with any family member, NEVER answer your cell phone, EVER. Try to never text in front of your kids. They will pick up on this as a separation from them and they will learn to loath your phone. If you have client meetings randomly throughout the week, don’t. Do it on one or two days only and stick to those days. Having clients in and out can tamper with your DMO so put it into you WMO or Weekly Method of Operation. For your WMO, give yourself at least one or two OFF days. Do nothing work related if you can. If it is the same day every week your life will not feel so chaotic. Mine is on Monday. I always know Mondays are a decompress day. Having your own business can become extremely overwhelming if you do not have a down day that is pre-determined. Your MMO or Monthly Method of Operation should be figured out based on your post production schedule if you are a photographer. If you have booked 3 weddings in one week that can become too much to get finished in post if you have another 3 the next week. I try to keep things simple. 2 weddings a month. 4 consult days per month. 2 network meetings per month. 1 industry event per month.

Trimming
Figure out what you love about what you do and figure out what you hate. Get rid of everything you hate or delegate it to someone else. I know this has nothing to do with work, but I HATE doing the laundry. So… my husband does it. Surprisingly he loves it and does a better job than if we went to a fluff and fold. Apply the same rules for your business. Really analyze what you do and what areas you really wish you didn’t have to do. Let’s say you love shooting but you hate the post production. There are companies out there who specialize in doing all your Lightroom work for you. Farm it out!

Just Say No
This may be the hardest thing for many of you. Really, you need to learn that simple word, “no.” Don’t do everything your friends want you to do. Don’t go to every event, opening, network meeting, business seminar. Choose wisely. Do just one per month.

Keeping your career and other areas of your life separate can be tricky. You have to be aware of everything and be as attentive other areas as you can. Everyone will find their own routine, so whatever it is, stick with it!

Click HERE to see how I tackle the COLLEAGUES issue.

Click HERE to go back to the beginning of this topic.

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NOT Keeping Up with the Joneses (COLLEAGUES)

Jen — Mon, 26 Apr 2010 18:52:04 +0000

Me and Marley at her 40th Birthday.

Part 9 of the 12 part series on balancing your life.

As a business owner, my colleagues are the others in my industry who make my industry what it is. They are the people dedicated to the same things I am only they offer different services and products to help my clients with their perfect event. These people are critical in the continued success of my business so I make a point of taking care of them as much as I can. While many of them become my friends they are also my partners. I connect with people who are most like me. Just like my clients, I work best with people I like and can trust. Reach out to as many as you can and then keep the ones you really like close to you. Send them notes every once in a while, shoot them an email just to say hello. Invite them to lunch or any industry parties you may be attending. Never go to lunch alone. It is a wasted opportunity to get to know someone better.

Now, to make something clear, your assistants, employees, and interns are not your colleagues. They also need some attention so don’t forget about them. Thank them. Be a good person to work for. Remember their birthdays. They help you make the world go around.

Photo to the left: Me and Marley Majcher, The Party Goddess! at her 40th birthday party extravaganza.

Click HERE to read about how I tackle the FRIENDS issue.

Click HERE to go back to the beginning of this topic.

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NOT Keeping Up with the Joneses (FRIENDS)

Jen — Mon, 26 Apr 2010 18:51:17 +0000

Long time friends Amy and Nathan.

Part 10 of the 12 part series on balancing your life.

If you want to be a successful entrepreneur you may need to be less socially social and more specifically social. You do need to have your few good friends and outlets for entertainment and fun, however this is where you can fall into a pretty big trap. Keeping up with your social calendar can be a full time job. Be selective. I know this is hard for many of you, however going out and partying all night will only bring you a second day or unproductively. WARNING: YOU MAY NOT LIKE THIS. Don’t drink ANY forms of alcohol. I don’t and here’s why. For one, I am cheep and don’t like to waste my hard earned dollar on an over priced drink that is just going to make me sloppy. People who know me, know I can be pretty crazy without any alcohol and I never need a day off after a party. A glass of wine a couple times a month is fine, however one a night is sure to wreak some havoc. It is pretty much all sugar so you will not sleep better as some people think and you will start to become flabby around the mid section. Ever wonder why you can’t loose those extra pounds? Sugar is also the number one reason for a weak immunity. Stop drinking any and all forms of alcohol!
Instead of drinking and partying, try going on outings with your friends. Organize a trip to Disneyland or the local Zoo. Do a nature hike or bike ride. Be active. Having fun that does not require drinking will surprise many of you. You may actually get to know your friends. Get rid of those who are toxic and build on the ones that are growth enhancing.

Click HERE to read about how I tackle the COMMUNITY issue.

Click HERE to go back to the beginning of this topic.

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